(This post’s title sort of brought to you by the great and powerful Paul Westerberg and his Replacements, who this weekend released a CD’s worth of material for 49 American pennies.)

As usual, New Comics Day doesn’t bring too cumbersome a bag o’ funnybooks my way, but I do like to glance at all the covers, just to see if they still make ‘em like they used to.

(C)2008 DC Comics

Sometimes they do.

(c) DC 2008

Somtimes they do, but don’t do it until 3 weeks later. (I’m sorry, if I wasn’t buying Batman already, the Alex Ross version of this cover wouldn’t have gotten my attention at all.)

Sometimes they really do, but only for an extra seven bucks, and only if your store got the comic.

Sometimes, they really, really do, and for a good cause. Do what I’m doing this week–ordering half the usual meatball sub and putting those leftover calorie-dollars to better  use.

• There’s not many excellent — or even very good — movies based on standard (i.e. Big Two) superhero fare. We came with about a dozen or so films that we both really dig, and a had a more difficult time than you’d imagine coming up with a dozen more that we knew weren’t gonna make the grade. Sorry Fantastic Four franchise! Maybe someday, Unbreakable.
• There’s even fewer superhero movies floating around that aren’t based on standard comic book fare. We came up with The Rocketeer pretty quickly, but just as quickly left it off the list because it didn’t seem to be ’superhero-y’ enough and neither of us remembered any part of it as fondly as the image of Jennifer Connelly in the movie. (But don’t feel bad, Billy Campbell — I have a feeling you’ll show up again in next week’s Ten.)
• Marvel’s movies rake in more dough (even if you handicap Marvel for their advantage in sheer quantity of releases), but DC seems to have put out more memorable films.

And yet a Pixar Studios masterpiece trumps them both…

10. Batman (1989). This movie bridges the gap between the wince-inducing last gasp of the old school superhero movie (Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, anyone? Or no one?) and the wow-inducing sunrise of the new (X-Men, Spider-Man, Superman Returns). Warner Brothers discovered, as we all soon did, that matching the director with the project might be a worthy use of time before signing that first check. Tim Burton brought a vision that didn’t treat the material as “kid’s stuff,” and really seemed to understand the source material and how best to take advantage of its conversion to moving pictures. DC’s approach to building its creative team obviously rubbed off on Marvel, who would eventually sign up Bryan Singer and Sam Raimi to launch their two big franchises. Speaking of…

9. X-Men. (2000) The most popular comic series of the last 30 years would have made ungodly sums of cash no matter who shot it or starred in it, but Marvel wisely paid attention to what worked for DC and also what failed miserably with the Batman movies, and got it right the first time with X-Men. What worked: getting directors and writers with the right sensibilites and the right sensitivities. So enter Bryan Singer, who’d cut his teeth on a character-intensive ensemble piece (The Usual Suspects) and a taut thriller that touched on the horrors of Nazi persecution, war and how sneaky evil can be sometimes (Apt Pupil). What didn’t work: an escalating cycle to cast “name” actors in main roles in superhero films. By keeping the known quantities to a minimum — and at this point, Halle Berry was best known for Introducing Dorothy Dandridge and Boomerang — the movie overcomes that handicap of “that’s not Batman, that’s George Clooney at Halloween.”

8. Superman: The Movie. (1978) We’re giving Warner Brothers and the orginal Batman crew a little too much credit, probably, as the same path we just applauded Batman and X-Men for taking, Richard Donner and Christopher Reeve cleared out in the first place decades before. While the Batman movies’ appeal springs from what we can become, Superman movies draw us in because of what we wish we could become. However sappy that sentiment is, that’s why the first two Superman movies hold up so well today.

7. X2: X-Men United (2003). The sequels always tend to play better than the kickoff flick, probably because there’s no need to waste a third of the film “introducing” everybody, thus giving the creative team space for a more detailed plot. X2 in particular succeeds because both the action and character pieces don’t hit you over the head with the “people hate things that are different” theme, unlike X-Men and X-Men 3: The Last Stand.

6. Superman II (1980). (Note that Roman numerals for sequels are oh so very passé these days.) Even though Stan Lee has a prominent role in Kevin Smith’s Mallrats, does Smith reference any Marvel big-screen triumphs? No, because there weren’t any at that point, and because “Kneel before Zod” is just much, much cooler than even Stan Lee most days.

5. Spider-Man 2 (2004). Oh, look, yet another second installment. See, what’d we tell you? Spidey 2 ups the action quotient from Round One while also giving us that most rare and wonderful of characters: a truly sympathetic villain. Alfred Molina’s Dr. Octopus was far more developed than his comic-book counterpart — he actually seemed less like a villain than simply a broken man pushed too far. (Keep this distinction in mind when we make our way up to the number two slot in a bit.)

4. Iron Man (2008). Closer to Stan Lee’s ideal of the Flawed Hero than even his revered Spider-Man — not only is Tony Stark besieged from without, he’s besieged from within. Possibly no other mainstream hero has as many self-inflicted obstacles and limitations. Not to mention the fact that any first semester psych major could break Peter Parker’s whiny neursoses down in a second, while world-class head shrinkers could go on for days about the complexitites of an alcoholic, narcissistic (but strangely hyper-self-critical) genius with a life-threatening injury that seals himself in a suit of armor, but paints it bright red and yellow.

3. Batman Begins (2005). Strangely, DC’s carefully crafted re-entry into the genre got nearly universal high marks, while the just as technically sound Superman Returns didn’t exactly shoot to the top of anyone’s list of All Times (including this one). It’s hard to put a finger on why, but maybe it’s just because both Nolan films work harder to show you not just the hero’s outer and inner workings, but those of the supporting cast and city as well; Superman Returns suffers by comparison as it stretches an examination of, really, just Superman over an equal amount of time without revealing much of anything else. Batman Begins is more of an experience for the viewer than just a Superman plot you can watch.

2. The Dark Knight. (2008) Honestly, what else can we say about this week-old movie? The Dark Knight all of the elements required to make a good comic-book movies and a whole bunch of the elements required to make a great movie… regardless of genre. And remember when we said to keep in mind that whole “truly sympathetic villain” thing? The Dark Knight pulls that feat off in a big way, while also containing one of the least sympathetic villains ever committed to film.

1. The Incredibles (2004). Surprise! But, really in terms of super-movies that succeed, why not The Incredibles at the top of the list? It manages to nail several different comic-book high concepts (The Superhero Family; ducking from the bad guys to preserve secret identities; awkward childhood made more so by having special abilities and so on) that less-ambitious offerings like the Fantastic Four and even X-Men movies barely touch upon. Oh, and all of this happens in a movie your kids will watch without giving a damn about any of that. The Incredibles, in terms of plot, character, acting, execution, you name it, rivals The Dark Knight as a Great Superhero Movie that’s also Just A Plain Great Movie. In fact this movie’s so good, that neither of us wants to see a sequel made in our lifetimes.

Hmmm, look at that… two of our top four superhero movies ever were released in the last four months. Does this mean that we’re entering some sort of Golden Age of Superhero Movies or something?  And if so, will that Golden Age die a horribly brutal death with the upcoming releases of The Spirit and Watchmen?

From TulsaWorld.com:

OKLAHOMA CITY — Some Oklahoma County voters can expect to receive comic books in the mail soon, but the subject matter will have a serious tone.

The 16-page publication prepared by Commissioner Brent Rinehart’s re-election campaign lampoons gays and criticizes Rinehart’s political opponents. It also features an angel who supports the embattled commissioner and Satan, who supports his critics.

Toga-wearing gays, political figures, trench coat-clad henchmen, concerned residents and Rinehart make up the rest of the comic’s characters.

I really hope some 10 year old plucks this beauty out of the mailbox, asks his “liberal, good ol’ boy” (cannot get enough of that phrase!) dad what “anal sodomy” is, and gets this taxpayer-fleecing goon arrested for peddling “filth” to minors, just like poor Gordon Lee (well, except for the fact that Lee didn’t do anything wrong).  And this time, let’s hope the CBLDF is a little too busy to help out.

If Batman Begins represented a step or several forward from the superhero movies that came before, so does The Dark Knight represent another leap. The Dark Knight retains all that I loved about its predecessor – note-perfect acting^[1], solid writing, gorgeous cinematography and art direction – and adds several new flavors to its casserole of excellence, most notably a deepening complexity and thoughtfulness. The Dark Knight isn’t a superhero action movie. It’s an ethical treatise with punching.

(Perhaps very mild spoilers to follow, but likely spoilers only to those who’ve never paid any attention whatsoever to Batman and his rogues gallery.)

Heath Ledger as The Joker

What does it mean to say someone is a “hero?” How far would you go to save the ones you love from danger? How about people you don’t even know? How far can you be pushed without losing yourself to madness? The Dark Knight asks these questions and turns them over and over, examining them from numerous points of view, presenting several ideas but never providing answers – The Dark Knight is an action movie that wants to engage your brain as much as, if not more than, your adrenal glands. Most of the major characters faces down at least one of these ethical quandaries (except for the force-of-nature Joker, who clearly gave himself over to madness long before this story starts) and each makes choices true to character. That a movie about a man dressed as a flying rodent and a psychotic clown dares ask these questions at all is astonishing; that The Dark Knight does so with such force, daring and reflection is almost beyond belief.

Director Christoper Nolan and his co-screenwriter/brother Jonathan Nolan get what makes these characters so fascinating and so iconic. They understand what those of us who read comics have understood for decades: that there are depths to be plumbed there, that the easy identification of Batman as silly spandex hero^[2] isn’t the true measure of the character. The Nolans understand the deep-seated near-schizophrenic split between Bruce Wayne and Batman, and they understand that while the Joker will always be Batman’s most notable enemy, his truest mirror is Two-Face.

While I still have trouble imagining any superhero movie ever receiving a Best Picture nomination, I’ve never seen one that deserves it more than The Dark Knight – this movie’s not so different thematically from 2006 Best Picture winner The Departed, which considered similar ethical questions. And those predictions that Heath Ledger will receive a posthumous Best Supporting Actor nomination could well likely prove to be spot on: Ledger really was that creepy, that riveting, that good as the Joker. Ledger’s Joker should wipe all memories of Jack Nicholson’s wacky clown from the cultural consciousness – his Joker now surely must be considered definitive. Ledger even manages to find the humor in this most decidedly unfunny clown. His gait, his voice, his manner all contribute to create one of the most engrossing and engaging movie villains in a long, long time. I never before considered myself a fan of Heath Ledger; I am now, and I wish I had more of his work to look forward to.

Most of the other actors have much more grounded, less showy parts to play (of course), but they do so with as much skill and grace as Ledger. Christian Bale one again proves to be an excellent Bruce Wayne; while these movies don’t play up Batman’s supposed role as “World’s Greatest Detective,” we certainly do get a sense that Bale’s Wayne/Batman (much like Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark in Iron Man) thinks about what he’s doing and the weight he’s chosen to carry on his shoulders. Gary Oldman’s James Gordon, one of the only honest cops in Gotham, gets far more screen time than he did in Batman Begins, and Oldman nails Gordon’s solid nobility in the face of chaos and madness. Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are, well, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman; neither’s role is large, and more screen time for either would have been welcome. Maggie Gyllenhaal brings sass, charm and intelligence (three qualities which Katie Holmes entirely failed to bring to the same character in Batman Begins) to her Rachel Dawes, the only significant female character in the movie; more screen time for her also would have been a good thing. But The Dark Knight runs two-and-a-half-hours as is, and the movie devotes so much of its energies to dissecting the characters of its three leads that some of the minor characters had to stay pretty minor.

Strangely, Batman himself is almost a supporting character in The Dark Knight – perhaps one reason why the word “Batman” isn’t in the title. There’s even some ambiguity as to whom, exactly, the title of “dark knight” could be referring – Batman or the film’s true protagonist, Gotham District Attorney Harvey Dent. (Yes, Batman is the “dark knight” as countered by Dent’s “white knight,” but Dent ultimately goes to some pretty dark places.) The Dark Knight is Dent’s story, the telling of his evolution from moral crusader in pursuit of justice to agent of chaos in pursuit of fairness, most certainly not the same thing. Eckhart’s Harvey Dent exudes a fire and passion for his crusade, and the distorted reflection in the mirror he holds up to Batman provides the most gripping character exploration ever seen in a summer blockbuster superhero movie^[3].

The Dark Knight is dark and disturbing and one of the tensest movies I’ve seen in a long while; it’s also fantastically smart and daring and complex, and it ultimately suggests a fundamental belief in human nature’s capacity for goodness. That dichotomy, as much as anything else in Christoper Nolan’s masterpiece, represents the core appeal of Batman himself, and that appeal is why these characters endure. Nolan has just assured that his vision of them will endure a lot longer.  Grade:  A.

[1] The major exception to that “note-perfect” acting was from the mannequin-like Katie Holmes; her replacement by actual actress Maggie Gyllenhaal was a significant upgrade.

[2] Please note that I have plenty of love for silly spandex heroes, too, but that interpretation has long since proven not to work out so well in movie form (ref. Batman and Robin, 1997).

[3] I don’t mean to damn with faint praise; I do realize that “gripping character exploration” isn’t normally a hallmark of big-budget summer action flicks.

I was pretty obnoxious in my pronouncement earlier this year that I was buying summer blockbusters Final Crisis and Secret Invasion, and that was it. No tie-ins, no reprint “catch-up” books, nothing extra.

That was stupid. I’m still buying at least 2 or 3 comics a week, but now I almost feel like I need to sneak in and out of my LCS in a disguise, immediately put the comics in a different bag, go home and hide them under the bed, so I can read them at 2 a.m. in the bathroom.

Here’s what I read at 2 this morning:

Captain America #40. How is that Ed Brubaker is still keeping his story on a slow burn, yet each month still leaves me satisfied and fufilled? It could be all the punching and defenestrating going on between Captain America 2.0 and Captain America 1.5 this issue and last. And… girl-fighting! And girl-stabbing!

MIghty Avengers #16. I’ve never been a supporter of holding Marvel to the statistical filler that litters their Handbooks. (”You showed the Hulk straining and gritting his teeth while lifting that school bus! It clearly states in the Handbook that the Hulk can lift 100 tons, about ten school buses! I demand a No-Prize!”) But, a little consistency among different comics, when the same writer’s involved, would be appreciated. This issue, we find out the hows, whys, and whens of the Skrullswap that started it all: Elektra. And while I enjoyed her appearance and salute her death-dealing valor, the length of time she holds her own against four of the Super Skrulls currently laying waste to a dozen Young Avengers, New Avengers and Mighty Avengers is a little hard to swallow. And why is next issue touted as “The Truth About Hank Pym”? Wasn’t that last issue?

Final Crisis: Rogues’ Revenge #1. I get annoyed when I ask someone their opinion on a comic or a CD or a movie and they respond, “If you like their other stuff, you’ll like this. If you don’t, then you won’t.” Ugh.

That’s why it pains me to write this: if you enjoyed Johns’ and Kolins’ take on the Flashes and their Rogues (I did), you’ll no doubt enjoy this. However, if you’re not digging Final Crisis so far, you might still enjoy Rogues’ Revenge despite its tie-in status, as it only brushes on that series’ Libra and his plot as it affects the Rogues.

Hey Kettle; Pot here. Did you know you’re black?

Incredible Hercules #119. Jeph Loeb can keep his Hulk of Many Colors right where he is, if it means we get to keep this sleeper title. It’d be really easy to fill in the plot blanks of a Secret Invasion crossover with a one-note Hercules and his Gift, but Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente are obviously not settling for that. Each issue’s opening recap page is itself worth three bucks, and the full story has been consistently taut and surprisingly inventive. And structurally, they leave the door open to new readers each issue, with more self-contained plot points and skillful retellings even outside the aforementioned recap pages.

If you’re not reading this book, but are slogging through the rest of Secret Invasion, I suspect you just don’t like good times.

Today’s 10 was supposed to be the Top 10 S… oh, to hell with it; it was going to be lame, we caught it early^[1] and excised it, and I won’t bore you anymore with the Untold Tale.

We brainstormed anew. Actually, it was really just me throwing out even more tired ideas and Allen logically and methodically shooting them down. Finally, after dozens of minutes, I blurted, “What about 10 Webcomics? We can’t just read and write about Big 2 stuff forever.”

Allen, obviously bereft of any better ideas and tiring of the struggle, agreed (or at least didn’t shoot it down). He didn’t bother asking if I had read or even knew of 10 different webcomics. (The answer to those questions: Nope and nope^[2].) But I liked the idea of trying new things, and the more I thought about this post, the more of a purist bent I developed. I would leave the discovery of these selected ten in the hands of fate. Fate, and search engines.

My first Googling (”webcomics”) produced thewebcomicslist.com, but that would’ve been way too easy, plus I wanted my selections to be totally random, and not pulled from a list of titles conveniently grouped together by genre. Back to the drawing board. Via random word generator, I tacked on a single extra word to the “webcomics+” search string (if you’re curious, I’m listing those words as well). Ten searches later, it’s Webcomics… and adventure!

These are presented in chonological order only. They do represent the first ten titles I was able to click through to from my search results. They do not represent webcomics that I necessarily enjoyed. Adventure!

1. Insisting: Good-Evil.net’s Funny Webcomic.

The site itself (enormously staffed and videogame-centric) was more interesting than this Photoshoppy cut and paste job they irregularly feature. Its afterthought nature isn’t what I imagine when I think “webcomic”.

2. Excess:The Smashing Adventures of the Bottomleys , by whoever Lowroad 75 is. On the other hand, this is what I imagine. Once you get used to the scrolling and the navigation, you can focus on the comic, which isn’t bad at all from what I read. A gently funny and slickly drawn tale of an absent-minded genius scientist and his family. There’s a multiverse in this one, so my Final Crisis digging ass has to appreciate it a little.

3. Little: Little Dee, by Chris Baldwin. Cute talking animals and not unfunny. Very newspaper comic-y and a well organized site, to boot.

4. Exhaustive: Roswell, Texas from Big Head Press, L. Neil Smith and Scott Bieser. Not cartoonish at all, and easily the closest to an actual comic book presented on the web I’ve seen so far, and the page viewing is really ideal here. Again with the alternate universes, wheee!! So far the only one I’d read in printed form.

5. Resolved: Forest Dew, by Florentina Heldrad. Hard to believe it took me this long to come across some manga. Pretty and spacious, by an obviously talented 19 year old girl.

6. Potentially: Sexy Losers (Extremely NSFW!!), Okay, got the manga, now where’s the porn? Oh it’s here, in spades. NSFW, and of course it is, I was pointed to it by a site called LOPOW-List of Potentially Offensive Webcomics. I didn’t find it offensive, but other than the Cuckolded Husband series, I didn’t find it entertaining either.

7. Rarely: Questionable Content, by Jeph Jacques. This one took awhile to find, as the early search results pointed mostly to review sites without working links. Probably worth it, as QC’s been around for awhile, it appears. Professional and smartly funny, in a “better sitcom” kind of way. With talking iPods and computers. I may actually go back and read all of these.

8. Quick: Quick Stabbing Motion by Brandon Southgate and Keegan Mullin. I’m no snob, but… eh. Juvenile, trying waaaay too hard to be anti-social, and the kind of stuff that’d get them on an FBI watch list if they weren’t Canadians.

9. Syndicate: Player Vs. Player- I know. It’s popular. Doesn’t mean I’ve ever read it. But I might start reading it more now that I’ve seen this (scroll about halfway down–under “Cre-Haters”). Scott Kurtz really takes his work seriously.

10. Simulating: Irregular Webcomic - I’m sort of a sucker for any use of action figures, Fisher-Price toys, whatever, in storyboard form. This was a hoot. I’ll be back to this one.

(C)2008 David Morgan Mar

So there, internet. Our first post without a single mention of Batman, Superman, Wolverine, or capes. This has been Webcomics…and Adventure!

________________________________
[1]But not early enough–we pounded away at it for almost an hour, so there’s probably no way you won’t see it sooner or later. We hold out much hope for “later”.

[2]I do in fact read four regularly: R. Stevens’ DieselSweeties; Cameron Stewart’s Sin Titulo; Warren Ellis and Paul Duffield’s Freakangels as mentioned a few times here; and The Rack by Kevin Church and Benjamin Birdie. All are recommended.

Shhh… it’s a Secret Invasion! All Some of your questions will be answered.

Allen: My big complaint with this issue: nothing happened. Really. How did this issue advance the plot at all? There were entire pages and scenes which did nothing but remind us that characters and situations were still dangling out there unresolved and did nothing to un-dangle them. The scene with Jarvis and Maria Hill on the (mysteriously crashed in the Bermuda Triangle rather than New York) Helicarrier, for instance? Did nothing. This series is only eight issues long, and having an entire issue which only served to prove two suspected Skrulls actually yes indeedy were Skrulls was a bit disappointing.

Tim: I guess Bendis has had enough, and now he’s going to show the whiners what decompression really looks like. That Helicarrier scene advanced that particular plot point about 5 seconds, still without answering the “how’d they end up in the Atlantic Ocean” head-scratcher. I’m starting to think he just forgot what he wrote in issue 1, or that Leinil Yu drew the wrong thing there.

(Totally unrelated Bendis note. He’s had more than one line featuring a request to “hold steady”… I’m wondering if he likes my current favorite band The Hold Steady. I hope so–that would almost make up for his storytelling glitches in Secret Invasion.)

The main title in the company-spanning crossover is becoming the highlight reel, the clip show, of the event (”This Skrull’s having the Best Invasion Ever!”). That doesn’t fill me with delight as a reader on a budget. Final Crisis, for its much worse critical beating online, is at least a coherent flow of complete scenes, not swatches of plot more fully presented in several other comics.

A: Didn’t we already have the big ending-page Thor reveal in Civil War? Did we need to do that again already? It kind of loses a bit of it’s “Oh shit!” oomph when it’s a rerun.

T: We didn’t need to, but I’m not ready to retire that kind of cheesy comic book thrill quite yet. I liked it a lot. And how dare you refer to that Civil War monstrosity as Thor (even though for all intents and purposes, it was Thor on that page)?

A: How do we know this Thor isn’t a Skrull coming down to sow more discord in our already-paranoid heroes? Maybe Bendis is now just lifting whole scenes from Millar… (OK, yes, I do realize that seems more than a bit unlikely.)

Anyway, we did get some fairly sweet Black Widow action in this issue, dispatching two 70s Skrulls who were already pretty damn high on the “Of Course They’re Skrulls” list. But I maintain that this Black Widow is a Skrull – even putting aside the visual hint of the closeup on her green eyes (likely a misdirection at this point), the Widow’s appearance and personality haven’t been all that consistent over the last couple of years. Hell, they’re not consistent now between the Avengers books and Captain America.

T: I think that’s an intentional misdirection with the ‘green eyes’ thing. I believe we’re seeing the actual Natasha Romanov, a product of inconsistent writing, not Skrull perfidy.

But, playing along, what if there’s more than one Black Widow running around? We’ve already seen^[1] the Skrulls impersonate someone while that someone is still running around free and clear – remember, the Skrulls have always been able to impersonate humans, and only a select few have been able to roam undetected.

A: I agree with you there – if this is indeed a Skrull Widow, then the Natasha running around in Captain America is not. And she’d be a perfect character to fill that particular multiple-places, multiple-looks, multiple-personalities role – she’s a superspy, that’s pretty much what she does. She’s able to be anybody, so really, she could be anybody.

Anyway, we’re now to the point where Bendis is pretty much admitting you can’t just read Secret Invasion itself if you want anything approaching the whole story. In an interview with Comic Book Resources, he said:

Sometimes when new characters come from out of nowhere and do a little dance it can be a little jarring. “Who’s this?” But we’ve already introduced these characters in “Mighty Avengers” and I was really proud of that. But now some people are going, “I wish I didn’t know anything about them.” I just can’t win.

So, Brian, you introduced these characters in a separate series, one which supposedly will provide optional backstory and not required material, so you don’t have to do anything whatsoever to introduce these brand-new characters, or tell us anything about their powers or even their names? Having their pictures on the first page with their names attached wasn’t really enough. It was bad enough throwing the out-of-costume Young Avengers in to previous issues without any effort at explaining who they are, but for characters who’ve been seen in exactly one other book before this, it’s almost unforgivable.

T: My nit-pick about the appearance of these new characters – the “Secret Commandos,” not that you’d know their team name from reading any of Secret Invasion – is the timing (so I guess I’m in the “I wish I didn’t know anything about them” camp). It would’ve been cooler, not to mention would’ve added some badly needed dramatic oomph to this main series, to see Fury show up out of nowhere with them at the end of SI #3, show ‘em in action in SI #4, then “introduce” them in the same month’s New Avengers. The previous tie-in issues could still have kept the “present-day” SI related pages with different flashback material; it would’ve hurt nothing. Marvel and Secret Invasion could have benefited, gathered some dramatic coin, from those readers wondering “Who the hell are these guys with Nick Fury?” and demanding more details. The way it was presented here, I’m feeling cheated by being told (again) that you only have to read the main series and that everything else is optional, when that’s clearly not the case.

And speaking of the Young Avengers: Does cover artist Gabrielle Dell’Otto only speak Italian? Couldn’t anyone at Marvel emailed him (in Italian) the plot to SI #4, so maybe he could’ve painted Nick Fury with the Secret Commandos and not the Young Avengers?

A: The thing that bothered me most about the Secret Commandos’ appearance here was that we have no idea why they were able to come in, spend two or three minutes mopping up Skrulls while the rest of the assembled heroes couldn’t. It really served to make the Young Avengers look pathetic. Yes, these new guys were “off the radar” and so the Skrulls didn’t know anything about them, but it still seemed a bit too easy for them, especially compared to what happened with the Young Avengers. I guess having Nick Fury on your team will do that for you, huh?

T: While Secret Invasion #4 suffered a little in comparison to the first three parts, it’s not awful for its defects. I do think the series will markedly improve beginning with next month’s edition, based on the good things we saw in #4:

• Through the novel idea of moving Agent Brand’s plot forward, we see where Reed Richards is and we have a good guy behind enemy lines – let the suspenseful rescue attempt begin!
• The Hood/Merry Marvel Marching Secret Society of Super-Villains bit was as “hell yeah” as Patton Oswalt hinted it would be back in March.
• Fury shooting Ms. Marvel and leaving her for dead makes me want to find out what was behind his decision and what’s next for her; that’s good funnybooking – make us fretful about a hero.

A: Agreed on all counts, and plus, we also have Thor and the new Captain America coming in, and it looks like we’re on the verge of having Iron Man back in action. I think you’re right that the mid-series lull will be coming to an end next month.

T: I’m pretty sure all of the players are on the field now (even if we’re still not sure which team they’re suiting up for), so that creates a lot more space for invading, resisting, and avenging in the second half of Secret Invasion itself. Patience, kids! You’re already waiting 30 days for each part; let’s give Bendis the full 8 months to show us something this big.

Who knows? We may even get the answer to our Helicarrier question.

[1] Well, we’ve seen this if we’ve read any Ms. Marvel lately…see what we mean?

(Y’know when someone prefaces their monologue with, “I don’t want to be a dick, but…”? That usually always means, “I’m about to be a dick”.)

Too much Anti-Life Equation, that’s the only explanation I can come up with for this to have made it into the published version of this week’s Justice Society #17.

One week only! Composers Amazing Man and Gog will perform their entire repertoire, called by some “the strongest”. Miss it at your own risk!

I don’t want to be a dick, but did he mean rapport?

In better Geoff Johns news, the rest of JSA was typically solid, even though he’s really just moving the story from predictable ground to Really Predictable Ground. Awakened demigod Gog isn’t happy about anything bad in the world and he apparently has the power to fix it all, even the bad things that happened to many of the JSA. So what are the odds that nothing is as good as it appears, and that the JSA’s gonna have a mini civil-war very soon?

In even better Geoff Johns news, Action Comics was jaw-droppingly good and my favorite book this week. Though he’s been taking care of Super-business for quite a while now, he’s really beginning to hit his stride in Action and not just saving his best blend of characterization and action for Green Lantern. In the course of finding out more about Braniac’s latest campaign, Supes (and the reader) gets some insight into his cousin (she actually lived through a Braniac assault as a “normal” Kryptonian and still carries scars. And we witness her teary eyed heat vision–powerful stuff.^[1]), his adopted father (he kept souvenirs!), and himself (he doesn’t really know what it’s like to miss home). For a change, he gets all of this while actually doing something instead of talking to everyone about it.

I bought non-Johns comics this week too, like Final Crisis:Requiem. Some of the negatives being thrown around elsewhere are valid (unnecessary to Final Crisis proper, a little long in the violence department), but overall, I thought it was a competently written and illustrated comic that did what it said it would: show a little more detailed version of J’onn J’onzz heroic last stand, remember his life and show what his last wishes were. The flipside, though: Green Arrow’s “He was my favorite Martian” line makes it almost impossible to defend this book.

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[1]If there is a god, a god who like pretty comics, we’ll see a Gary Frank Supergirl book again one day.

Because we haven’t mentioned Warren Ellis in about an hour, go catch up on Freakangels, the free weekly webcomic from Mr. Ellis and Mr. Paul Duffield. The new installment’s up today, all previous pages available as well. You can even subscribe to the RSS feed, the better to wean yourself from relying on me to remember for you each Friday.

And again, it’s free. It’s also good. Go read it now.

Here’s a blast from the past, courtesy of a Marvel Bullpen Bulletins inside Avengers (volume 1) #71, 1969:

The only reason I even noticed this was the fact I’d just read Beau Smith’s terrific Busted Knuckles column, and his good-natured challenge to Marvel and DC to “give the readers one full year of stand-alone stories”.

I was a little surprised at the response he received. Most readers gave reasoned, if opposing viewpoints (notably Peter David, who never met a devil he couldn’t advocate), but some were downright unreasonable and almost angry at the suggestion. But why?

What about the challenge was so shocking or offensive (or “retarded”, as a poster at Mark Millar’s messageboard so politely put it^[1])? Yeah, how dare an industry veteran and a comics reader of (I’m guessing) 40 years or more question the current economic and editorial model employed by the Big 2?

What’s so wrong about suggesting that the all-important, most desirable new reader would be better served and welcomed into the fold more easily with 12 months of accessible, approachable stories, and then hitting them with some crossovers and mega-events after they’re hooked on the solid writing and satisfying resolution? For an audience that tends to bristle when labeled geeks, loners, losers, oddballs, anti-social misfits, or nerds, it was surprising to see a suggestion to bring in some new friends met with resistance at best and disdain and insult at worst.

Think about it this way: What if dating a girl ran like the comic industry the last few years?

You go on that first date (call it the “one-shot”), and it’s nicely done: she’s dolled up and pretty, the small talk’s fairly brisk and informative, but it’s more about setting up things in the future than it is talking about what’s going on right now. You wind things up with not even a peck on the cheek, but a promise of “to be continued”. Okay, you can certainly live with that, because a little mystery is nice and the promise of bigger things to come is always exciting, and hey, the one-shot was very satisfying (if a little more expensive than the typical night out)…

Six months later, you still haven’t gotten that peck on the cheek. What you have gotten is hundreds of dollars gone from your checking account for all the nights spent going on dates not just with her, but with various members of her family and circle of friends. Some of these are those “one-shots”, some of them are dates spread out over several weeks with different combinations, but all of them are dedicated to a single goal: giving you the tiniest, tiniest bit of additional info about the lady you’re trying to woo (and get that single peck on the cheek from).

Two months after all of that, due to philosophical changes implemented by said lady, you’ve had to go on dates with several more folks to explain or correct erroneous facts passed to you along the way, like she couldn’t possibly have been born at Woodstock in 1969 like her roommate told you back in March. (Whoops!)

At what point in this cycle would you say, “thanks, but no thanks” and return to chatting on the internet or playing Call of Duty 4 online or some other more immediately gratifying art-form? Would you even finish that first date if you were warned in advance that you might never get a reward of any kind for your contributions and devotion?

If you figure you’d be happy to last those eight months, I want to date you. It’d be a refreshing change from wanting to please my wife all the time.

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[1]I would’ve put a link to the Millarworld thread from mid-June, but it’s already been deleted. I guess they can handle one week’s worth of Beau and that’s it.